Understanding Self-Harm and Suicide: A Guide for Children & Young People

Self-harm is a way some people cope with emotional pain.

Self-harm is when someone deliberately hurts themselves. For many young people, it can be a way of dealing with overwhelming emotions, difficult experiences, or feelings that are hard to put into words. It is often about trying to cope with emotional distress rather than wanting to die.

You might self-harm because you feel:

• Overwhelmed
• Anxious or stressed
• Sad or depressed
• Angry or frustrated
• Lonely or isolated
• Numb or disconnected
• Like nobody understands what you're going through

Remember

💙 You are not attention-seeking.

💙 Your feelings are valid.

💙 You deserve support.

 

"Recovery will come."

Words shared by a young person from Cheshire and Merseyside with lived experience of self-harm.

There isn't always one reason.

Many different experiences can affect how we feel emotionally.

Common triggers may include:

• School, college or exam pressures
• Friendship difficulties
• Family problems
• Bullying or online abuse
• Low confidence or self-esteem
• Mental health difficulties
• Bereavement and loss
• Trauma or abuse
• Feeling isolated or left out
• Relationship difficulties

Even if you can't explain why you feel this way, that doesn't make your feelings any less real.

 

What are suicidal thoughts?

Suicidal thoughts are thoughts about ending your own life.

These thoughts can come and go, build up over time, or appear suddenly. They can be frightening and confusing, but many young people experience them and go on to get support and recover.

You might notice thoughts such as:

• "What's the point?"
• "Everyone would be better off without me."
• "I can't do this anymore."
• "I wish I could disappear."
• "Things will never get better."
• "Nobody cares about me."

Important

Having suicidal thoughts does not mean you have to act on them.

Whatever you are experiencing right now, support is available and things can change.

 

It may be time to get support if you notice:

• Self-harming more often
• Feeling hopeless most days
• Avoiding friends and family
• Stopping activities you used to enjoy
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Feeling like a burden
• Taking risks and not caring about the consequences
• Thinking or talking about suicide
• Making plans to end your life

You don't have to wait until things get worse.

Getting support early can make a huge difference.

 

When everything feels overwhelming

Focus on the next few minutes instead of the next few weeks.

Calm Your Mind

✅ Take slow, deep breaths

✅ Listen to music

✅ Watch your favourite programme

✅ Take a shower or bath

✅ Try mindfulness exercises

Express Your Feelings

✅ Journal your thoughts

✅ Draw or create art

✅ Write a letter you never send

✅ Record a voice note

Connect with Others

✅ Text a friend

✅ Talk to a trusted adult

✅ Spend time with family

✅ Visit a safe place

Try Grounding

5-4-3-2-1 Exercise

Notice:

• 5 things you can see
• 4 things you can touch
• 3 things you can hear
• 2 things you can smell
• 1 thing you can taste

Grounding can help bring your focus back to the present moment when difficult thoughts feel overwhelming.

 

You don't have to go through this alone.

Speaking to someone can feel scary, but it can also be the first step towards feeling better.

You could talk to:

• A parent or carer
• Another trusted family member
• A friend
• A teacher
• A youth worker
• A school counsellor
• Your GP
• A mental health professional

Conversation Starter

"I'm struggling with how I've been feeling and I think I need some support."

You don't have to explain everything at once.

 

If you think you might act on suicidal thoughts

🚨 Call 999 or go to A&E immediately.

You are not wasting anyone's time.

Your safety matters.

Need Urgent Support?

NHS 111

Call 111 or use NHS 111 online for urgent advice and support.

Samaritans

📞 116 123

Free, confidential support 24 hours a day.

Shout

📱 Text SHOUT to 85258

Free 24/7 text support when you're struggling to cope.

National Suicide Prevention Helpline UK

Provides supportive listening for anyone experiencing thoughts of suicide. [youngminds.org.uk]

 

Worried about someone else?

If a friend tells you they are self-harming or having suicidal thoughts:

✅ Listen without judging

✅ Take them seriously

✅ Encourage them to speak to a trusted adult

✅ Help them find support

✅ Contact emergency services if you believe they are in immediate danger

You don't have to deal with it on your own either.

 

Read this if you're struggling

You might not believe it right now, but:

⭐ You matter.

⭐ Your feelings matter.

⭐ Things can improve.

⭐ Help is available.

⭐ There are people who care about you.

⭐ You deserve support, kindness and hope.

Just focus on taking the next small step.

You do not have to face this alone. ❤️

 

• Royal College of Psychiatrists – Self-harm in children and young people [rcpsych.ac.uk]
• YoungMinds – Suicidal thoughts and feelings [youngminds.org.uk]

If you are in immediate danger, have seriously harmed yourself, or believe you may act on suicidal thoughts:

Call 999 or go to A&E immediately.

Safeguarding Message

If you're worried about yourself or someone else, please tell a trusted adult today. Getting help early can save lives.